:: Current Stuff ::
So, I've decided I need to start writing again. Not just because I miss it, but because I need something constructive to fill the hours that I have to myself during the day.
I've lost something over the years that I find myself missing. Not so much the...I don't know...connection? that I had to my characters, as they are all different facets of my personality, but the feeling behind them. And it isn't just the fiction that I miss, it's the fact that I've lost a connection with myself that had been built over decades and lost when my children were little and home all the time. They took over my psyche in a way that wasn't really healthy and whittled down some things that, while they're still there to a far lesser degree, I never should have allowed myself to let go of.
Kids can do that.
Having back a huge part of my personal life and relationship has also changed several things that had changed me. Last year was...for those who don't know...very bad. A lot of things happened that really locked the foundation of my home, and changed the entire dynamics of just about everything. Having gotten past it all has made us far stronger than I think we have ever been, but at the same time there's a little cynical devil in me that flares up every time certain things are said or done.
I'm capable of forgiveness, but have a damned near photographic memory for events.
I haven't decided where I want to start yet. I don't know whether I want to pull out one of the many unfinished volumes that are lying about and start back at page one, editing and revamping so that I can continue on, or if I want to start completely fresh and being in my facets as they truly are--pure and unabashedly glorious.
I want to hear the Voice of Spring in my head. I want to feel the Wings of Flame on my back. I want to lie awake in fear of the Flower of the Underworld.
I want to know them again.
I want to BE them again.
In fact, I think having written that, the best way to pay them homage would be to write a three book set, now wouldn't it?
I'll have to ponder that one further.
:: MORE Miscellaneous! ::
Much thanks to ~Grayda
for help with my journal CSS!